i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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