we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
