you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here