i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
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my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
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Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush