I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.