did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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