tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
