Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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