Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize