He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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