i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
