I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
