Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
