I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
PANTIES FOUND
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