The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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