im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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