Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
wow bdsm is so cute
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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