I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.