ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
