Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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