my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
