Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
