Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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