True but thats because hes a fetus.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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