Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
