Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
