North Korea, Best Korea!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Fuck appropriateness.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
