big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
