these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
