If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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