their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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