His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
