I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
