Can i not drive my cunt home
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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