yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
