There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
