real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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