She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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