Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
