i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize