What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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