His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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