I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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