That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
