dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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