If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
