I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize