So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
one might say we're banned from that church
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
