So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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