I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think I sprained my soul last night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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