Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
