i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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