it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just found a bag of teeth...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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