apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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