I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
