Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
