so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
