I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
