Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
